A walk down Cemetary Road

On Christmas Day I took a nice long walk down Cemetery Road and into downtown.  The sky was grey, the air chilled and occasionally a few snow flakes would fall.  The streets and the sidewalks were freshly plowed and shoveled but all was covered with a thin layer of snow not burned off by a hidden sun.

It was an exceptional time to walk downtown early afternoon.  Very few vehicles drove by on the highway.  No one else was seen walking about.  The hot springs was open for business and, maybe, also the bakery.  But otherwise my walk was a unique opportunity to walk downtown into a quiet Pagosa Springs that was, in a sense, all mine to enjoy alone.

My walk was unique in another important way.  Having lived in California for the past two years with only the infrequent visit back, I had for the first time a unique experience of Pagosa Springs.  This was the first time that I wanted nothing from the Town and the place.  I had no expectations, no desires, and no ambition.

I read recently that the highest state that a man can reach in life is to want nothing at all and, then, to succeed in getting it.

Since my first visit in 2005 and subsequent quick move into Town, I was a man on a mission.  Several missions actually.  Fresh from divorce, I was seeking primarily an escape from the large city that was intimately the setting for the long marriage and the person I had become.  Secondly, although I had done fairly well fixing and flipping old houses in the big city, I couldn’t resist hoping that I could double my earnings in a quick in and out move at the tail end of the largest real estate bubble in my lifetime.  I knew the bubble would burst but maybe there was time for one more quick ride upward.  And, what better place for a fresh start than in this magical little town at the foot of the mountains.

The little town that I walked into in 2005 was a “boom town on the verge of exploding”.  Serious real estate investors were here.  Serious money was moving around.  Lots of talk and possibilities floated around.

So the Pagosa Springs that I “saw” in 2005 was a place for my own redemption from another life.  A place where I could “prove myself” yet again.  A place where I could be a real player in a town, I thought, would be wanting to redefine itself and grow anew.  A place where I could be a true mountain man. Pagosa Springs would be my escape from the big city and a place where I could achieve my dreams.  Not only could I transform my own life but I could be an integral part of a community transformation.

Ambition is a strange driving force; or should I say blinding force.

But, on this Christmas Day walk, my ambition was gone.  My needs for what Pagosa Springs would provide me had dissipated.  My dreams for being an intimate part of a small town wanting to create itself anew had been let go.

In other words, for the first time, I was seeing Pagosa Springs for what it really is; not for what I wanted it to be.

I imagine that almost all of us, even the rare enlightened individual, have some sort of ambition.  Maybe that is the difference between being alive and dying.  It is ambition that keeps us going – waking up early, going to work, doing the things daily that we do.  Ambition to be a good parent, an outdoors athlete, a recluse, a multi-millionaire, or simply to be at peace.

I can see that the conflicts that have arisen between people in my time here in Archuleta County have their roots in differences in ambition.  In 2005, I was excited, for example, by the ambition of David Brown for his properties downtown.  I mistook the swirl of talk and high ideas of people like David Brown for the place that I was moving to.  I saw a possibility of an emerging pedestrian-oriented downtown attracting new young families and fresh energy. In 2005, there were dozens of investors, developers and the small army of business people that become the entourage of a real estate boom.

But, on this Christmas Day walk, I was seeing Pagosa Springs for what it really is; not for what I hoped that it would be.

Today, almost none of the investors or developers who inspired me remain in town any longer.  The small army of associated business people has been reduced to a skeleton crew.  Money had been made.  And money had been lost.  Had I benefitted from the wisdom of, say, 30 years in Pagosa Springs, I might have known that this cycle of boom and bust is the heartbeat of the land.  I might have known that the sleepy little town I now saw this Christmas Day was what Pagosa really is.  The “boom town on the verge of exploding” was an illusion; the imploding economy was the historical pattern. 

The mix of older houses, vacant lots, small businesses, the hot springs, scattered new buildings, plentiful vacant buildings and limited employment opportunities represent, really, the “ambition” of the Town’s dominant vision for, say, the past 30 years.  If you stop to look, the existing downtown tells the tale of what this Town is really up to.  Everything else is empty talk and wild speculation.

I could criticize this “vision”.  In fact, at times, I have criticized.  But the truth is that the criticism would be only the “conflict” between my short-lived ambition up against the slow ebb and flow of an older, better established, ambition.  Neither “ambition” is right or wrong.  Just different.  The heartbeat of a town on the verge of growing and then again staying much the same is the true pulse of this place. 

Of course, I don’t know how far this town has or has not journeyed in the past 30 years.  I have more than a passing interest in the arc of transformation that can occur in a man’s life; what could be called the “hero’s journey”.  Communities, as a whole, can also transform and grow.  Or shrink.  After all, the only constant is change.

Now that I am unattached, un-invested, and totally without ambition for the Town or for myself in this Town I can, possibly, see it for what it really is.  And for that I am grateful.  In no small part, the charm of this place is that of a Town lost in time.  A Town unaffected by the ambitions of the big city.  A place where you can come to escape.

This is a different kind of place for different kinds of people.  There are people who have lived here for generations.  There are tourists who come for a few days or a week.  There are second home owners who stay a few weeks or a few months every year.  There are people like me who fall in love, move in for a time, and then eventually move on again.  Each of these groups of people have very different types of ambition.  The tourists are looking to be entertained and escape for a short time.  Some of the other groups of people are looking for solitude and escape in their own ways.  The locals who have lived here “forever” have an ambition and drive that, really, I know nothing about.

I think that it is accurate to say that the downtown as currently built and currently operated says as much about the true Pagosa Springs ambition as I might ever come to know.  The place that I saw Christmas Day is exactly what it is and exactly what it intends to be.

And for that, I am grateful.

Ha ha, Pagosa Springs!

I read with interest Bill Hudson’s article about 480 Lewis Street.  I have a personal interest in that building.  There’s a file here at my desk, even though I’ve spent the past two years in California.

Once every few months I return to Pagosa Springs, mainly because my daughter still goes to the high school.  She is doing a year abroad in France this year but I will likely visit you all again over Christmas time.

Every time that I visit Pagosa Springs, I fall in love again.  I think about buying an old house and fixing it up.  That’s what I do for a living.  It can be a good way to make money and it’s my passion.  Any questions you have about my expertise about the topic of old house renovation could easily be answered by the photos on my website at www.TeddyHerzogConstruction.com

The last time that I visited, in the springtime, I started looking around for a fixer upper house yet again.  By far, the house that most caught my eye is the one at 480 Lewis Street.  As a professional, I can tell you that the house has good bones.  Sure it is butt ugly but for a guy like me that is only just a good challenge.  In my mind, I have torn off the old aluminum siding and replaced it with wood siding and trim details and new windows to give it a “turn of the century” (1900’s) jewel.  I’ve torn off the roof at the front and either put on a steeper roof or added a roof deck with views of the river.  The inside is modernized with new electrical, plumbing and heating.  I would have had to add insulation as well.

Easy enough for me to talk big.  But, I never did it.  After all, who the heck is going to buy a mansion from me across the street from the Bear Creek.  And that really is the rub here, isn’t it?  Any of us can see what downtown Pagosa Springs will be, one day.  Clearly real estate values will be higher, one day, and the downtown will make more than a few real estate investors proud of their choices.  But probably not today.

Once upon a time, I annoyed the mayor by referring to downtown old houses as “shacks”.  But, it wasn’t an insult, just the eye of a professional telling what he saw.  I’ll tell you that 480 Lewis Street is an unusual building in that it does have good bones.  At first look it appears that: the floors are level, the building  square, and the roof is not sagging.  It is not the typical older building of downtown Pagosa Springs.

After I left for California two years ago, I promised myself that I wouldn’t read Bill Hudson and his Daily Post anymore.  Too negative.  To predictable.  Articles almost always written in voice of the “naysayer” that the mayor once called him.  But as you can see, I just can’t help myself.  Still reading the Daily Post to see what is happening around Town.  And, look, here I am writing something one more time.

I recall a conversation that I had with the late Stanley Levine in which he talked about the “POD” people – “people opposed to development” – that you find in every town and against every project.  I kind of have a love – hate relationship with Bill Hudson’s writings for the Daily Post.  Yes, his writing is almost always against something or somebody.  But more often than not, his point of view makes a lot of sense, if you look at it from his perspective.  And for someone like me, if I am willing to read his writing and also in between the lines, the Daily Post is my best source to keep in touch with life in Archuleta County.

Here is another thing about that building at 480 Lewis Street.  Before the recession hit, “green”, sustainable construction was all the rage.  But the most “green” building is the one that is already built.

I personally know many of the people who volunteer for the Town and help determine whether “redeveloping” 480 Lewis Street into a parking lot is a good idea or not.  I am not going to take sides here.  The idea that in order to take a step forward downtown another solid building needs to be demolished is cause for sadness.  But easy for me to say.  I didn’t do anything to restore the building at 480 Lewis Street and apparently nobody else is going to either.  But I surely will be sad to see a parking lot there the next time that I come to Town.

Really, this is not so much an opinion letter about a house as it is a love letter to y’all.  I miss Pagosa Springs.  I miss the people, the land and the challenge.  And I feel sadness when I think about the economic and political struggles.  No easy solutions, that’s for sure.  Good luck with all that.

I will be back again for a visit at the end of the year.  No doubt I will fall in love yet again.

Springtime in Pagosa

It is springtime in Pagosa. The economic decline blanketing the local economy is punctuated by a few critical signs of new life.

Over the past several years, the commercial center of the community has shifted completely uptown and vacant storefronts and decaying buildings characterize the historic downtown. Looking at the big picture, the good news is that the downtown core of Pagosa Springs has not been ruined yet. There is a lot of coulda, shoulda and woulda project ideas that came and went for downtown Pagosa. There are a lot of things that might have happened downtown but didn’t. The investors and the builders went away. For now.

The most fascinating part of the downtown story is that there is not one project downtown which has been completed in the past decade that I would call a “mistake”. Although the skeptics among us could easily point to things that are missing downtown, the fact remains that the historic part of this town is still retains a "lost in time", untouched condition that looks much the same as it did in 1980. For the optimist, this is a very good thing.

On the other hand, the commercial strip of highway uptown is now the heart of the commercial retail activity of the town. Most of the shopping, restaurants, banking, and real estate offices exist within a non-descript uptown axis of urban sprawl. The architecture of the uptown commercial corridor is consistently of a style of construction that is best referred to as “race to the bottom”.

What is the cheapest way to build square footage? How can we build a cheap box without any concern for the natural beauty of the area? How can we orient our signs and parking lots and building footprints in a way that one building has no relationship with the building next door? These are the unconscious questions which clearly drive the ongoing build out of uptown.

For all those who bemoan the coming of Walmart uptown, the truth is that Walmart is the logical next step. The haters of Walmart and all that it represent must acknowledge the fact that the uptown commercial sprawl already represents and articulates the very worst of what they fear Walmart will bring. How can we bring you ever cheaper goods? How can we build ever cheaper square footage? Lets make sure that there is nobody walking anywhere and that every trip everywhere is in a car. Sorry folks, that is uptown as we know it today.

The hideous shades of green (even the otherwise well-built Parelli building) and the “baby poop” hues of brown reinforce an architectural theme of “I don’t care” in the uptown commercial corridor.

What is fascinating is that in our tale of two towns, either unconsciously and/or by luck, the Town leaders have managed to keep all the crap up the hill and at the same time preserve a relatively unscathed (if underdeveloped) urbanscape downtown. Downtown has not been ruined yet. The dream of the Downtown Master Plan could still come to fruition. Some day.

Here are some of the things that I love about what the Town leaders have built downtown. The pedestrian bridges are a massive amenity connecting people on foot with the river. The small incremental improvements to Town Park continue to build faith in a vibrant future for that open space. The in-the-river features bring increasing interest to both playing in the river and to coming to watch. The river walk, while not complete, is a major feature getting people out of cars and buildings and out walking around. Yamaguchi Park is brilliant walking destination and place to play. Reservoir Hill is still relatively untouched. Some of the new signage helps newcomers make sense of the place.

The new section of sidewalk going in now from Farrago to First Inn is an example of a fairly small project that will make a huge difference in the visual integrity of the downtown core.

On the topic of private money, I think that the new Springs Hotel was a major step in the right direction for downtown. Nice use of professionally coordinated exterior colors; notice how they blend with and complement the natural colors of the surrounding hills. Someone actually took the time to pick shades of green and yellow that are coordinated with the surroundings. The Springs Hotel is a major feature of the existing functional river walk. The Springs Hotel is a walking destination and a local meeting place, as well as an upscale hotel.

The exterior remodel on the building next door to Cappy White’s Handcrafted Interiors (across the street from the bakery) is a great example of how one small private project can make a huge difference for an entire block. Rather than a “race to the bottom”, that project is an example of spending some extra money, bringing in some real talent, and doing the project right this time.

Taken all together, this list of projects presents a downtown core with a real future. Serious investors can not help but to notice the possibilities for making money and, in the process, for creating a vibrant downtown in the foreseeable future.

I am one who believes that the bottom is not in for the economy. There are macro events on the horizon both nationally and internationally that could easily drag down further the local Pagosa Springs market. But regardless of what happens next, the fact that we have not yet spoiled the downtown and that there are ongoing small successes built by both the Town and privately, lead to the inevitable conclusion that things are heading in the right direction downtown.

Uptown is in serious need of an “Uptown Master Plan”, a vision, and some basic design standards. Otherwise, we will continue to build more of the same disconnected, cheap sprawl. The commercial sprawl of uptown is automobile dependent and by design discourages people from walking around. By design, uptown discourages a sense of community and of belonging.

Stand Up and Call a Cease Fire

Dear Friends of Pagosa,

Wishing you an effective public meeting of the minds.

As an outsider now looking in, it is sometimes painful to watch the ongoing war that the community seems to find itself in while attempting to define itself and its future. To my eyes, all moves and plans to create something new in Pagosa are met with outright hostility, venom and an inability to really talk.

When I was a boy getting into a fight with my brother, my dad would always say "it takes two to tango". I used to hate that. "But dad, he started it". "You didn't see what he did!" My dad would just stick with his theory that there ain't no fight unless two parties show up to get it on.

More recently, I've tried showing up in my marriage with a style of "thinking" called "I am right and she is wrong". Sometimes that feels pretty good but it sure doesn't work out well. I have tried "it is all your fault. You are to blame." I mean, it seems obviously so to me. But again, that approach doesn't work too well.

I suggest to y'all, that what I find doesn't work in my marriage, doesn't work on a community level either.

Being sure that you are "right" and that those other people are "wrong" gets you locked into positions and beliefs. Of course, this leads to "good people" and "bad people".

"I am right" and "you are to blame" are part of a very popular style of "thinking".

Consider that "being right" doesn't get you what you want. I mean, sure, "your side" might "win" this time. But what have you "won", really? If you can't talk and you don't have an agreed upon common plan then you've only guaranteed yourself, with your "win", that you are going to have another battle.

On those infrequent occasions that I can get out of my "thinking" of right and wrong and get away from blame -- only then do I have the slightest chance of having an enjoyable, effective relationship with my wife.

Having participated in a few of the Pagosa Springs "battles" myself and having made some people "wrong" and made myself "right", I can tell you this. It didn't make a bit of difference. Not really.

I kind of can't help but watch the war that the community of Pagosa is in with itself over every possible move to articulate and move towards a future . Probably, my addiction to the Pagosa drama has a lot to do with all the ways that I see in myself this drama of "going to war" play out with myself and others.

Someone is going to be "wrong" today. And somebody is going to be "right". Somebody is going to "win" and someone is going to "lose". Either way, the community will still be at war with itself.

Isn't it time for a few adults to stand up and call a cease fire?
Anyone?

Do No Harm

Either I am totally lost or I am on the verge of some great personal discovery. You make the call.

I’ve been a little bit quiet lately. For about eighteen months, I had a lot to say about land use planning, the growth of our town, and our plans about how it all should happen. Make no mistake -- I still have a lot to say -- but I’m just not sure how to say it.

I spend a large portion of my day on the internet. That gives me access to lots of points of views, news stories, videos and opinions.

Yesterday for example, I ran into a YouTube video of a college event on a big field. Lots of students and partying going on. It looked like a sports event. For some reason, a guy decides that it makes sense to take off his clothes and hang out naked.

Three uniformed police officers respond -- as professionally as possible -- to encourage the guy to put some clothes on. It escalates to the point where the naked guy says that he is not going to put clothes back on and that there is nothing that the uniformed police officers can do about it. Of course, the officers have no choice but to “enforce the law” and you end up watching a video of a naked guy getting “tasered”, tackled and handcuffed by the three police officers. (A taser is an electronic gun which sort of electronically stuns.)

I was unable to watch the second half of the video. It’s just too painful for me. Everywhere I look, I am seeing the violence that goes with our current notion of being human beings.

It’s not the police officers. It’s not the naked guy. I mean, it’s just us. I’m talking about all of us. I’m talking about me.

The very last piece that I wrote here in the Post, was an article where I took the Town Council to task for rejecting attempts to unify some Planning and Building services of the Town and the County. I accused -- point blank -- the Town Council of actively reinforcing the mentality of “division” within our already functionally unified community, That somehow there really is an “us” downtown and a “them” uptown.

I mean, maybe that is how it was once upon a time. But the fiction of a “tale of two towns” is not the reality on the ground today. It’s just not.

But of course, the real problem is that my language and my speaking about “the problem of divisiveness” was clearly divisive and harmful in and of itself. I was complaining about the harm someone else was inflicting but I was doing it by inflicting harm.

Ouch.

So, now I am wondering about what’s it going to take for me to communicate in a way that “does no harm”. At the same time I want to completely tell the truth (as I see it). How do I share my perspective with the community without turning it into another opportunity to hit somebody over the head?

That goes back to my feeling of either being totally lost or just on the verge of some great personal discovery.

If I didn’t know any better, I would just become comfortably numb. But, I do know better. It’s a bit of a challenge for me but somehow effective communication has got to be an option. Like most people, I spend a lot of time staying distracted, being off point, and generally not being focused on what is really going on here and now.

Right now, there is almost nothing that our community leaders can do without provoking an outcry or attack from the “public”. There is almost nothing that the public can say without attacking the leadership.

It is fascinating to watch the gut level, visceral attacks that come upon a new president of the United States. When a “Republican” becomes president the attacks come from people who say that they are “different thinkers”. When a “Democrat” becomes president the attacks come from people who “think differently”.

Never mind the fact that the liberal and conservative points of disagreement actually all exist in a fiction from the past and have absolutely nothing to do with what is going on right now -- today.

For example, the federal government is not really run on “tax dollars”. The United States budget is primarily funded by money literally printed out of thin air. And that, my friends, is neither a “liberal” nor a “conservative” problem. It’s a very much bigger problem. (More on that topic, later.)

But of course, it is entertaining to distract ourselves with heated banter about who’s a liberal and who’s a conservative. That’s a whole lot easier than talking about the end of free market capitalism and the looming destruction of our currency. Our supposed “two-party” system of government in the United States and all of the chattering of the talking heads “is a tale … full of sound and fury; signifying nothing.”

Our current community dialogue must be what Don Miguel Ruiz (author of books including “The Four Agreements“) was talking about when he said that humans all live in a dream. We all live in a collective dream that we call “reality”. But actually the dream is a nightmare called “hell“.

Apparently, this problem has been around for a while. I like this 2500 year old verse from Lao-tzu:

Governing a large county
is like frying a small fish.
You spoil it with too much poking.

Approach the universe with the Tao
and evil will have no power.
Not that evil is not powerful,
but its power will not be used to harm others.
Not only will it not do harm to others,
but the sage himself will also be protected.

If only the ruler and his people would
refrain from harming each other,
all the benefits of life would accumulate
in the kingdom.


Empires rise and empires fall. National currencies get stronger then they collapse and disappear.

Vibrant communities are led by vision and hope. Communities contract underneath the weight of their own fear.

Sometimes I can communicate and help lead the community forward. Sometimes my opportunity to lead gets lost in my reptilian instinct to attack, defend, and become numb.

In my speaking, I am a painter with a brush. My carefully chosen words, consciously placed upon the canvas of the community conversation have the power to create something new. I can paint a positive vision of tomorrow or I can kick the canvas in frustration.

Being a "leader" instead of a "caretaker"

The Town Council held a workshop Tuesday afternoon to discuss ways that the Town and County could merge Planning and Building services. Also discussed by some was why it could never really happen. With a total of five members of the Town Council and the Mayor, there appeared to be an even three to three split over the idea of doing some kind of merged planning versus doing very little to nothing to change what we have got.

From my seat in the audience of a packed house, here is what I saw. No I won’t pretend any personal objectivity or neutrality on this topic at all.

The County’s spokesperson Rick Bellis appeared to be offering everything that the County possibly could to entice the Town into combining staff.

What I saw was some people attempting to form a more unified and more streamlined way of managing future development. I saw some other people so afraid of the details and the possibility that “something might go wrong” that they were completely unable to see the bigger picture here.

Imagine that large aliens from outer space came with a huge vacuum cleaner and sucked away both the Town Hall and the County Hall of Justice. Imagine that we were then left to replace the government of our community with a new structure.

Given a clean slate, would we build two separate governments to manage our small community or would it be logical to only install one government for our unified community of less than 10,000 residents?

Would it make any sense at all to install two building departments and two planning departments for a small community organized around a single seven mile strip of commercial development?

It can only make sense with the statement “well, but that’s just the way it has always been done”.

The heart of what I want to write about here is the difference between being a “caretaker” and being a “leader”. Most of the time, it is adequate for elected officials to be caretakers. Once in a while -- at critical junctures in our history -- true leadership is necessary.

Sometimes that leadership comes from elected leaders. Often times it must come from somewhere else.

General George Washington and his ragtag band of rebels almost starved to death in Valley Forge in 1778 because the vast majority of the citizens were too afraid to “change the system” and couldn’t be bothered to dig into their personal pockets to finance the rebel army. It was only a handful of men and women who led the vast populace of the American colonies towards forming a more perfect union.

After a bitter debate, only 7 out of the 13 colonies voted to approve the new constitution in 1787 which formed the unified republic. This result was the achievement of a small handful of leaders.

On its face, as an outside observer, obviously one planning and building department to manage our one small community makes more sense than having two departments do the same work. It’s obvious from the outside.

The real estate and building community has articulated clearly why a “one stop shop” is better than two separate departments. One thing is for sure. The current system of two planning and building departments does not work to grow our community as envisioned in the Comprehensive Plan.

For myself, it was a little painful to sit in those Town Council chambers and watch some random remarks about how a merged Town and County Planning and Building staff would be less efficient than two separate departments. It was a little painful to watch some make claims that the best interests of Town residents were served by continuing with a divided administration of our single little community.

So to those few adamant voices who argue against merging redundant Town and County services, I ask you this. What is your vision for the future of the community? I have heard your fears. I have heard your rejection of the logic of the merger proposal based upon small details that have yet to be worked out. I heard what might go wrong.

But, I don’t believe that I heard any vision for the future. I don’t believe that I heard any guiding plans or principles. Where are you leading us to?

Fear is not a future.

This disfunctionalities of the past do not inform a positive road map for tomorrow.

In life you always end up with one of two things: What works or the reasons why not.

The "conversation" that we are

I like to read the Pagosa Daily Post almost every day. The regular writers keep me up to date with what is going on in Pagosa Springs.

What particularly fascinates me is the "conversation" that the community of Pagosa Springs is.

Sometimes -- actually more often than not -- we as a community are a "conversation" that looks something like: everyone who ever takes on any position of leadership in our community needs to be destroyed.

It really is fascinating to watch and explore. Well, unless the news story of the day involves "you". When the "you" (that would be the "I" in your mind) gets involved then all of a sudden it is not so much fun and interesting but all of your painful whatevers are there ready to get triggered.

It looks like this might just be a local Pagosa Springs "conversation". But actually it is a national and an international conversation.

What happens every second day of a new U.S. presidency? The "impeach so-and-so" bumper stickers come out.

So, actually, this "conversation" is not local. It is the conversation that all of humanity is mired in.

But, like fish in water who do not know that water exists......almost none of us humans are aware that we "swim" in a "conversation" not of our own making. Most of us think that we are thinking the negative, critical thoughts. But actually the negative, critical, back stabbing thoughts are thinking us.

That is not just a poetic flourish. The greater conversation of humanity actually "thinks" for the individual. That is to say that we "individual" humans are born into and show up into an already known way of thinking and communicating.

So, here is the good news for you if you are the "target" of a critical story. It is actually not personal.

The critic thinks that they are thinking and writing a critical story about you. The gossip thinks that they are saying something unique. But, notice that most of the letters to the editor are also from the same school of "thinking"......about how other people are wrong and jerks and whatever. And, so, by necessity, the writer must be right or something.

Or at least, for sure, the "leader" must be destroyed or exposed or something.

The good news is that the "conversation" really isn't about you. The "conversation" was in place before you were even born. You were born into it.

This conversation permeates all aspects of human life. This is the conversation that you are with yourself (you know, that ugly chatter in your head). This is the conversation that we are as an intimate relationship. This is the conversation that we are as a town. This is the conversation that we are as a nation. It is a conversation of "no possibility". Roughly, it could be called the conversation of "everything, everywhere is hopeless".

But, the greater human conversation can be altered. Great leaders can do that. That is the fun part.

What I am writing about here is a call to personal responsibility. On any given day, in any given situation, the opportunity is to personally take full responsibility. I did not say "to take blame". To take full responsibility is to claim it. To take full responsibility is to claim and to be a stand for your own personal power. To "blame" is to give away your power. To "criticize" and to talk about the mistakes of "the leadership" is to pretend that you do not have any power to influence your community from whereever you are.

Just because the County Commissioners wear fancy hats or because the Town Councilors wear fancy badges does not mean that they have any more "power" to affect change in the community than either you or I. The true source of the "power" of a County Commissioner or of a Town Councilor comes from the fact that they show up every week and try to get something done. Showing up and taking action is the source of personal power.

But as a people, on this planet, we swim in a conversation that goes something like this. "I have no personal power. Someone else has the power. I can't really do anything to improve my situation and the situation of my community."

As a people, we reinforce the mistaken theory that power exists outside ourselves by "blaming" and finding "fault" in the "leadership". Finding fault and blame are the narcotic that keeps us each, individually, asleep to the power that we each have inside of ourselves.

What power did Rosa Parks have when she stepped onto a bus in a segregated south and demanded to sit where "the white folks" sat?

What power did Nelson Mandela have from the jail cell in South Africa where he was incarcerated for 25 years?

What power did women have to demand the right to vote?

What power did the American colonists have against a Britain which was the greatest military power in history at that time?

What power do you have to alter the shape of the local economy in Pagosa Springs?

What power do you have to influence an efficient merger of redundant County and Town services?

You have whatever power that you claim for yourself.

If you say that the power to run the community is outside of yourself, then you are right. If you say that you claim personal responsibility for the future of our community, then so you do.

More often than not, true vision, leadership, and change in a community comes from somewhere other than the "appointed leadership". True leadership comes from one or two people who take a stand.

True power comes from somebody showing up and taking action week in and week out.

So, to the critical, the naysayers, and the voices of doom I ask "so what?" Now, what exactly are you going to do about it?